am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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