I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
