I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
