matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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