I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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