I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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