I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
