Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
