When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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