Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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