The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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