Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
