so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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