i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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