his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
