Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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