Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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