remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
