it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
