Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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