beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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