Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
