a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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