Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
