oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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