Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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