I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
