First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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