Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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