Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
