Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
