Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
