We won't sleep together?
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
