Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
