dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize