how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
