would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
