My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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