Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
