White coat. Heels.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
