We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
