I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
