I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
