I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
