There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize