just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize