Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
