shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
