I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
