She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
