Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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