I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
