no, he came in my armpit
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
