I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This is the prime rib incident all over again
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
