You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize