We won't sleep together?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
