And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize