I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
