is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
