So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize