john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
