So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
