ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
