i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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