How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
