It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize