my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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