Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
