Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
