That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She bit a glass in half.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
