I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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