i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
