Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
