wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
